There is none like you...

I had a wonderful chat last night while working my way through my presentation slides. I sudden felt relieved and seemingly having a new life. Sometimes you need a down time in your life so that you will learn how to appreciate those around you and not take them for granted.
Concern is the word that has been constantly down graded to naggings... But you notice the values of this nagging when you are hit with a crisis. I love my friends; I cherish my family. I must be positive!

A wonderful family dinner

I really enjoyed tonight's outing. My mum is indeed in a good mood today nd I am happy. Well I almost made her sad again because I took oo long to cycle and buy her her favourite snack...

But let's not dwell on the unhappy stuff. Today we went to Vivo! Seriously speaking, Vivo is huge that I rell never have the opportunity to explore every single corner that this mall has to offer.

Yes let's dive into dinner first. You know what we had??? EARL SWENSON'S... It is really delicious. Yes this time I am able to control my eating. I took a slower pace. Although it has a salad buffet bar, I didn't fill my plate to the brim and took what I relly want. I ate slowly and refill only three times. I have my limits.. YES! I have control now! There is much more to learn. Yes I need more training in buffets... Then we paid Tangs a visit... well window shoppin I guess... But I sort of learn how to relax myself by this kinds of shopping.. RETAIL THERAPY???? haha

My mum and sis headed to the female undies section.. so no choice, I have to follow. At least I tried to make myself comfortable and not feel queasy at all. Come on.. I am forced there ok! I am not a pervert!

Ok picture time!







Ok man Good nite guys!

My Lovely Mum

I really want to dedicate this Blog post to my mum.

She is a woman of tenacity, of strength and courage. I've pick up both good and bad traits from her, albeit a little less from my dad! Mum and I have walk through a rather intereseting journey with me, and I must admit that these 22 year must not have been smooth-saling. However tulmultous the path may be, her undaunted spirit lingers.

Fortitude and determination is her ethos. She firmly belief in having full confidence in everything that one does.

I take pride in whatever she has contributed to this family, being a hardcore engineer and then sacrifising her highly held glory to become an unsung hero- A Housewife.

Today's newspaper shows how much a housewife should be paid if all errands were accounted for.. It summed up to be like $23000 a month. There is a catch here... Why such a high pay where a common maid could only command a monthly pay of $500? The ultimate truth is that mothers are just irreplacable, they really do more than house keeping. They give their hearts out when it comes to the well being of each family member. Being A housewife is not an easy task and I respect all housewifes.

The Lord has been good to me. Everytime when there is a major crisis in life, I aways know that my mum is my shelter and she is God-given. She is my safety haven, my temple of solace. Nothing can replace her.

My you have always been there for me. I really love you! I will do you proud!

Beautiful Girl...

I am so heartened by invitations from my best JC friends: Rende & Jonathan, to watch Iron Man together. I really want to say I didn't enjoy a proper movie for such a long time!!!!!!!! My previous attempt to relax with a movie with my friends was marred by an axiomatic response to do hand grip and bicep curls during the show. Crazy right! I have no idea how my friends have the patience with me..

The movie was great and I actually interacted with the movie itself- I was totally engrossed and at some part, sway my head as if I was the protaganist, avoiding the bullets sprayed on me.

At the end of it all.. Nothing beats the sms sent by my angel... Last night, there was this sudden sms from her which is nothing serious... Finally I've got a candid sms from her... Yeah. Great interaction took place. I really feel happy but at the same time felt an overwhelming concern for her lethargy. Well I really cherish a good friend like her and I dunno whether she felt the same for me???

Anyway, I was so tense last night and instead of having a slumber, I went into a duel with sleeplessness!

Haiz.. Beautiful girl.... What can I hope of us? Yesterday I learnt something from Jonathan actually. He said to have a strong relationship there must be a strong and solid foundation- One that streches on trust and based on mutual respect. If there are difference (bound to have), they should be resolved in a peaceful and repectful way rather than to see giving up in that relationship as the best option. Everyone is special.... That is what my colleague told me... There is no such thing as wierd. How people look at and perceive you is uncontrollable but as long as you did your best to potray the best you can (candidly), there will always be breakthroughs...

Ok guys. I look forward to NUS!

Chill out man.

Hey Have fun!

Another relaxing day....

Yes... Relax. I hope I can go out later... Need to run errands. Actually I feel quite wierd you know.. It is like I am a pigeon trapped at home.
I want to go out.. but I can't.. Not exercise... But to spend my time doing stuff like library, shopping.. just looking around.

Actually, life is short, so I really can't just let it slip away. I really want to have something to do every moment.... Not the compulsion. And certainly not exercising or eating every moment... That I will revert back to my old bulimic Darren.. the evil one..

Just now, my mum commented on me being very thin again..
I told myself weight and bulimia is two different thing. I try not to let this issue sadden my heart. But frankly speaking, there are happy people who are thin and are not bulimic! So the most important thing is, like what my Aunt wil say: must have the correct thinking. That is what is the most important!!! You can hover around the ideal weight and still be bulimic! That is certainly not what I want. I want a recovery that is long term and that is beneficiary to my health... Not a short term one that serves to create temporal happiness to those close to me.

I know it sounds selfish... And I have already broken my parents hearts.. Please give me some time...

Thanks Cui Fang for the conversation just now.. If not I really got nothing to look forward to...

Today is my best Ah Gong Ah Ma day...

Yeah! Finally! Today I had a successful interaction with the elderlies!


1. I played blackjack.. The old Aunty way.. They taught me how to shuffle their way and ho to be a good "zheng kae"





2. I sang Hokkien song/ chinese oldies

3. I massaged Uncle John

4. Manage to persuade an old uncle from 3rd storey down to join the rest.

5. Feed one friendly old uncle who can speak ENGLISH!!!

Nicole and a baby from one of the volunteers...

Oh yes today was the first time I engage with the moral angels for brainstorming and meeting. Next week, we are bringing the Ah Gong Ah Ma to China Town... or contigency plan would be Terminal 3, Changi Airport.

Yes, Next Saturday, my class is having a port luck party... Hope I can come up with nice sandwiches!!!

Alright man! gotta go!

Love is a powerful object

Hey man... I love my new bike... Now it is so convenient! Haha! Last time I am so crazy about exercise, don't know how to relax. I really enjoy the leisure ride that the bicycle can provide. Nowadays, I sort of getting lazier... I think it is the medicine.. Well maybe not lazier but more normal i guess! Haha... Surely one day I will get back to extra normal!
Oh yes my interview did go smoothly! Yeah! Praise the Lord! I am accepted by NUS. Although I must start afresh, am not afraid or ashamed! At least I spent a year relooking into the holes of my life.
Ok as for yesterday:

Mathias is so cute la! He really made my day... Actually not only him... But the whole family... They are so warm! Finally got to see Cui en, Josephine's sis (Thanks for the wishes :) )and the hardworking Josephine Dad!




I really enjoyed my time... Guess this is part of life!

Interview???

Hey NUS. Here I come.

I am gonna start my journey a fresh. With a new heart, with a rejuvinated soul! Yeah!

Today.. or rather, 2 more hours later, I am gonna see the head and deputy head of Material Science & Engineering Dept. I wonder what are they gonna ask me man.

Yes... Yesterday I had an enjoyable time man.. I will load the pictures tonight!

Ok.. all the best Darren!

What is the Holy Grail of Science?

"The creation of blood vessels is one of the holy grails of regenerative medicine "
Professor Julian ChaudhuriBath University

Talking about regeneration, it really gives me an idea of giving back life to people. Jst like how I got back my life, I really hope Ican give life to people too... In the tech news of BBC, I happen to chance upon two medical discovery- One of which is synthethic blood vessel and the other is Extra cellular tissue implant and growth. Talking about my future area of research, which is too earlyto catch a glimpse of... I would most likely endeavour upon the hopes of naotechnology to come up with some bio compatible material or medicine. By far, medicine has its impact manifested via the chemical way and very few medicine actually uses physical interations to weed out errors in our human system (probably with the exception of some chinese medicine). I really wish for that day to come, when I have enough say to make an impact to the scientific/medical arena.

Talking about my life, some celebrities shared the same sorrow as me:


Celebrities With EDs
Jane Fonda- You've seen her in movies and you may have seen her playing some sports. Others know her as an activist and some personally know her as a wife and a mother. In the 1970's she went public with her bulimiarexia. She had an ED for about 20 years!

Jamie-Lynn Sigler- Or to us she's Tony Soprano's daughter. She became a spokeswoman for ED men/women.Tracey Gold- She was an actress since she was four, doing soda commercials and working a role in Growing Pains. Not only did she have an ED but she ALSO had ADD.

Sally Field- Anybody remember her? She was the Flying Nun. No wonder she had an ED.

Carre Otis- If you dont know who she is, I suggest you start buying some better thinspiration magazines. Shes a top fashion model who's had an ED for nearly 17yrs.

Paula Abdul- For the non-American Idol fans, shes a singer and a dancer famous for her necklines and her skin-tight dresses. She had such an ED that she had a "food cop" patrolling her kitchen! I wish I had one of thoes! She used to exercise 4-5 times a day AND she does yoga. And you think YOU work hard to maintain your figure?

Victoria Beckham- Remember back to your Spice Girl phase... oh come on... admit it, we all went through the Spice Girls at one point. Victoria Beckham, or Posh Spice, told about her ED in her autobiography. As far as I can remember, she looked to be at an average weight to me. Shows what makeup can do to a person I guess.

Joan Rivers- Shes a hilarious commedienne, author, entrepreneur AND a mother. Talk about multi-tasking! Her ED developed after her husbands suicide. She delt with her problems by binging on cookies, entire cakes and gallons of ice cream. Shes now recovered.

The Barbi Twins- They were playboy playmates at one point. They were ana/mia both, and shared their insite as part of Body Image Awareness Week. They really do look like Barbies! I'll try to find a good picture of them for my thinspiration page.Whitney Houston- Publicly expressed her eating disorder when passing out at a concert. She should have taken her multvitamins.

Courtney Thorne-Smith- A former star of Ally McBeal, aparently she still has an eating disorder.

Yada yada yada.. The list goes on... but there seems toe no males... Am I a shame to my community? Hmmm... Something to ponder upon. Right now, I am gaining back my old Darren, the friendly, sociable YOMAN. Yes.. I will be back.

The master of talking cock.

I think I've talk a great deal today... Wha.. Iam really enjoying research.. But getting busier guys.. So I won't be posting that often.. You'll have to miss me!

Why Fail

Fail? Did I fail? I did not fail myself! I only failed my driving test what! Come on Darren... Itis onl a driving test. And I think I did pretty well this time. Just need more luck next time! kay. I need some time to re-evaluate myself. I almost went into hysteria this afternoon. But everything is gona be ok! There will always be a better tomorrow! Praise the Lord!

I am ready...

ready for what

For my DRIVING TEST tomorrow!

Scary but I am going to overcome it. Let's see. If I really pass tomorrow I will have loads to celebrate. I put in alot of effort, money, and attention this time round. I really wish that the Lord will be with me tomorrow.. Amen!... No Lord is always with me!

Today is my tuition day again... Put in loads of hardwork in prepring notes for this student of mine. I really hope he knows how to reciprocate.
Then later, I went to church with Josephine. Today's sermon was awesome. Pastor Khong taught us to fear the Lord, for the fear will bring us no fear to worldly things... I had a rising urge to pray for Josephine and I did it near the end of the service. Not very good with my words but I meant well.

After that I was at Bedok area, so I chanced upon the community library and managed to salvage some good books about eating disorder. I really hope that I could read into myself well.

Yes then, after that is my driving practice. The circuit was utterly quiet. But that's good as I have most of the practice to myself and less waiting time!

Yesterday I had A fun time with a soldier:

Yeah! We are really looking forward to Taiwan! Hotel and air tickets settled!

Please!!! That is my sabbathical beforethe start of my school in NUS!

Yesterday I had some misunderstanding with my mum over food again. But we managed to recover from all the accusation and turned it into a friendly peace talk.

Let's hope the books that I've borrowed today comes in handy!

Nights! Pass Pass Pass my test!!!!

Blackholes and Revelations....

---

Schwarzschild geometry The Schwarzschild geometry describes the spacetime geometry of empty space surrounding any spherical mass. Karl Schwarzschild derived this geometry at the close of 1915, within a few weeks of Albert Einstein publishing his fundamental paper on the Theory of General Relativity. The history of this discovery and much more is wonderfully recounted in Kip Thorne's book ``Black Holes & Time Warps: Einstein's Outrageous Legacy''. Schwarzschild radius One of the remarkable predictions of Schwarzschild's geometry was that if a mass M were compressed inside a critical radius rs, nowadays called the Schwarzschild radius, then its gravity would become so strong that not even light could escape. The Schwarzschild radius rs of a mass M is given by rs = 2 G M / c2 where G is Newton's gravitational constant, and c is the speed of light. For a 30 solar mass object, like the black hole in the fictional star system here, the Schwarzschild radius is about 100 kilometers. Curiously, the Schwarzschild radius had already been derived (with the correct result, but an incorrect theory) by John Michell in 1783 (this reference is from Erk's Relativity Pages) in the context of Newtonian gravity and the corpuscular theory of light. Michel derived the critical radius by setting the gravitational escape velocity v equal to the speed of light c in the Newtonian formula v2 / 2 = G M / r for the escape velocity v from the surface of a star of mass M and radius r.

Horizon The Schwarzschild surface, the sphere at 1 Schwarzschild radius, is also called the horizon of a black hole, since an outside observer, even one just outside the Schwarzschild surface, can see nothing beyond the horizon.

Schwarzschild metric Schwarzschild's geometry is described by the metric (in units where the speed of light is one, c = 1) ds2 = - ( 1 - rs / r ) dt2 + ( 1 - rs / r )-1 dr2 + r2 do2  . The quantity ds denotes the invariant spacetime interval, an absolute measure of the distance between two events in space and time, t is a `universal' time coordinate, r is the circumferential radius, defined so that the circumference of a sphere at radius r is 2 pi r, and do is an interval of spherical solid angle.

Embedding diagram The Schwarzschild geometry is illustrated in the embedding diagram at the top of the page, which shows a 2-dimensional representation of the 3-dimensional spatial geometry at a particular instant of universal time t. One should imagine that objects are confined to move only on the 2-dimensional surface. Each circle actually represents a sphere, of circumference 2 pi r. According to the Schwarzschild metric, the proper radial distance, the actual distance measured by an observer at rest at radius r, between two spheres separated by an interval dr of circumferential radius r is (1 - rs/r)-1/2 dr, which is larger than the radial interval dr expected in a flat, Euclidean geometry. Thus the geometry is `stretched' in the radial direction, as shown in the embedding diagram. Outside the horizon, the lines in the embedding diagram are `space-like': they would be measured by some actual observer (in this case an observer at rest in the Schwarzschild geometry) as being intervals of space at some instant of the observer's proper time (an observer's proper time is the time actually measured by the observer, as experienced by the observer's brain or recorded by a watch on the observer's wrist). Inside the horizon, lines in the Schwarzschild embedding diagram change to being `time-like': they represent intervals of time measured at the position of some observer, rather than intervals of space at an instant of some observer's time. That is to say, the lines in the embedding diagram inside the horizon represent possible trajectories of infalling (though not necessarily freely falling) observers. The shape of the embedding diagram inside the horizon, as drawn at the top of the page, is somewhat arbitrary. The animated dashes do however show correctly intervals of proper time as experienced by an observer infalling along a line of constant Schwarzschild time t.

Gravitational slowing of time In general relativity, clocks at rest run slower inside a gravitational potential than outside. In the case of the Schwarzschild metric, the proper time, the actual time measured by an observer at rest at radius r, during an interval dt of universal time is (1 - rs/r)1/2 dt, which is less than the universal time interval dt. Thus a distant observer at rest will observe the clock of an observer at rest at radius r to run more slowly than the distant observer's own clock, by a factor ( 1 - rs / r )1/2 . This time dilation factor tends to zero as r approaches the Schwarzschild radius rs, which means that someone at the Schwarzschild radius will appear to freeze to a stop, as seen by anyone outside the Schwarzschild radius.

Gravitational redshift The gravitational slowing of time produces a gravitational redshift of photons. That is, an outside observer will observe photons emitted from within a gravitational potential to be redshifted to lower frequencies, or equivalently to longer wavelengths. Conversely, an observer at rest in a gravitational potential will observe photons from outside to be blueshifted to higher frequencies, shorter wavelengths. In the case of the Schwarzschild metric, a distant observer at rest will observe photons emitted by a source at rest at radius r to be redshifted so that the observed wavelength is larger by a factor ( 1 - rs / r )-1/2 than the emitted wavelength. The redshift factor tends to infinity as r approaches the Schwarzschild radius rs, which means that someone at the Schwarzschild radius will appear infinitely redshifted, as seen by anyone outside the Schwarzschild radius. That the redshift factor is the same as the time dilation factor (well, so one's the reciprocal of the other, but that's just because the redshift factor is, conventionally, a ratio of wavelengths rather than a ratio of frequencies) is no coincidence. Photons are a good clocks. When a photon is redshifted, its frequency, the rate at which it ticks, slows down. In the illustration shown, a source at rest at 1.18 Schwarzschild radii emits light rays with the same initial wavelength in 6 equally spaced directions. The light ray going out is redshifted, while the rays falling in become blueshifted, from the point of view of observers at rest in the Schwarzschild geometry. Five of the 6 rays end up falling into the black hole (the two yellow rays would fall in, but I cut them off so they wouldn't block the view).

No stationary frames inside the Schwarzschild radius According to the Schwarzschild metric, at the Schwarzschild radius rs, proper radial distance intervals become infinite, and proper time passes infinitely slowly. Inside the Schwarzschild radius, proper radial distances and proper times appear to become imaginary (that is, the square root of a negative number). Historically, it took decades before this strange behaviour was understood properly (see again Kip Thorne's book ``Black Holes and Time Warps'' for an account). The problem with the Schwarzschild metric is that it describes the geometry as measured by observers at rest. It is now realized that once inside the Schwarzschild radius, there can be no observers at rest: everything plunges inevitably to the central singularity. In effect, the very fabric of spacetime falls to the singularity, carrying everything with it. No pressure can withstand the inexorable collapse. To paraphrase Misner, Thorne & Wheeler (1973, ``Gravitation'', p. 823), that same unseen power of the world which impels everyone from age 20 to 40, and from 40 to 80, impels objects inside the horizon irresistably towards the singularity. Answer to the quiz question 8: False. The Schwarzschild metric remains valid inside the Schwarzschild radius. It is fine to perform mathematical calculations using the Schwarzschild metric. Inside the Schwarzschild radius, if you transform to frames of reference which fall inward (or outward, for a white hole!) faster than the speed of light, then the geometry becomes `normal' again.

Schwarzschild spacetime diagram This spacetime diagram illustrates the temporal geometry of the Schwarzschild metric, at the expense of suppressing information about the spatial geometry. By comparison, the embedding diagram at the top of the page illustrated the spatial geometry, while suppressing information about the temporal geometry. The horizontal axis represents radial distance, while the vertical axis represents time. The cyan vertical line is the central singularity, at zero radius, while the red vertical line is the horizon, at one Schwarzschild radius. Yellow and ochre lines are the worldlines of light rays moving radially inward and outward respectively. Each point at radius r in the spacetime diagram represents a 3-dimensional spatial sphere of circumference 2 pi r. Dark purple and blue lines are respectively lines of constant Schwarzschild time and constant circumferential radius. The Schwarzschild spacetime geometry appears ill-behaved at the horizon, the Schwarzschild radius (vertical red line). However, the pathology is an artefact of the Schwarzschild coordinate system. Spacetime itself is well-behaved at the Schwarzschild radius, as can be ascertained by computing the components of the Riemann curvature tensor, all of whose components remain finite at the Schwarzschild radius. The curious change in the character of the Schwarzschild geometry inside versus outside the horizon can be seen in the spacetime diagram. Whereas outside the horizon infalling and outgoing light rays move generally upward, in the direction of increasing Schwarzschild time, inside the horizon infalling and outgoing light rays move generally leftward, toward the singularity. General Relativity permits an arbitrary relabelling of coordinates. Some coordinate systems which behave better at the Schwarzschild radius are illustrated below.

Would you take my hands?

Today I made another confession about my condition.. This time to my Disciple... Haha. I am glad she is open with it.. Anyway.. she has been a great help to me today! Really happy thatI have an assistant because dealing with two ELISA plate is no easy task.. Especially with the standards.

Actually the results are quite ok..I should say.




Today the Cute cute Mathias called me..

"Hello Darren kor kor.I want to speak to Mas selamat Kor kor.." Haha!

Really miss him. But I guess I am also missing someone close to my heart. I never had this feeling for a long long time le.. When I was drown with bulimia, please don't talk about love to me. I don't even love life. I just wanna exercise and "kill"??? What is the use of love where I have my own desires to fulfill.
But the Jovial Darren is back! Not that I am frivolous; in fact I am damn serious with my life now. That is why I seek for someone that I love and truely loves me too.. Haha. But that is not all that important now. Let it come naturally as dictated by God. But this girl that I admire has a good heart and my family really cherish her. Yes! I would take a positive step in knowing her better!

Ok man. I am really getting better these days... Tomorrow is a killer day again.. 24 transfection (Oh My Goodness) to do. Why Dr Ng trusts me so much! haha

Ok good nite guys. I had a tired day!!!

Where's my overtime pay?

Working extra hours should confer more pay! Haha. no la.. I don't for the money----- It is for the experience! yes yes! I love my job! It's getting exciting each day. Other than job, I realise that I took up unpaid voluntary work, Part time job(tuition). Yeah my life is pretty much balanced now! Talking baout my voluntary job: Moral Angels... I feel so good taling Hokkien man! It's like a cultural revolution to me.. Ok this is a snippet on the latest Saturday:

Hi angels,

it was a lovely afternoon at moral home. It was not quite the usual crowd but we did quite all right nevertheless. When I was there at 3pm (late as usual), uncle Meng Huat was at the helm of the blackjack table instead of our regular big boss uncle Song. We need a bigger table as the gambling den is attracting more Ah Kong Ah Ma in anticipation of the IRs opening. Song and Sam (S&S) were spotted on the 2nd and 3rd floor doing their rounds to PR with the residents and also some new elderly at the home.

SK can be seen running around in search for MJ kakis for our Ah Ma waiting downstair at the MJ table. Thru his crystal ball, SK had foreseen the angels turnout for this week. And so he brought along his secret weapon: Teochew Opera VCD! It worked like a charm. Ah Kong Ah Ma were glued to the TV. Meanwhile I was beaten up down left right at the checker table by uncle John. I think he misses Poh Yan, even though he tried hard to cover up his yawn of boredom.

That’s about all folks. Thanks for reading.

.

.

.

.

The story would have ended if not for our newest additions to the angels family. Introducing Desmond and Darren (D&D)! Desmond is a soccer kaki of SK, and after a brief tour of moral home, he immediately dive into action helping with the games and stuff. Darren is a friend of Josephine Neo, and he was here last week too. He took some photos of Ah Kong Ah Ma last week, and the Ah Kong Ah Ma can be seen grinning ear to ear when he handed them the developed photos this week. Hey Darren, great work! Take more photos in the future and we can put them up on the blog too.

Here are some good news for all the fans of Uncle Lee. After taking a short break at CGH chalet, uncle Lee is back at the home with even more zest, hoping to make up for the lost time at the chess table. He may even make it for the temple outing, why not? Talking about the outing, angels coordinators Shuhua and Huixian were running around auditioning our Ah Kong Ah Ma for the outing. They were also thinking aloud wondering WHY angels have not replied to their email on their attendance for the outing. Hey angels, you know who you are…

And last but not least, despite the low turnout for the 1st sports day of 2008, we did manage to enjoy ourselves thoroughly. Uncle Song conducted a badminton clinic, and I learnt how to hold a racket properly for the 1st time of my life! Nice. Credit goes to the welfare committee and Dietitian angels for making the sports day possible.

Cheers! Have a nice week ahead!

Jin Xiong

Today I had lunch with Mr Steven again. haha! He is quite a quiet friendly guy. Ok Today I ventured on my own method to recover my DNA.. It does seem to work!

Rather anxious for tomorrow's ELISA 2J expt. Look at this:

Lots of hard work just for the preparation alone... I hope for a good result tml.. Dealing with two plates ok! Do hear lots of timer beeping!

Good nite!

Fighting Bulimia

Look at this article:

Prescott tells of bulimia battle

John Prescott talks about his bulimia

Former deputy prime minister John Prescott has confessed to suffering from the eating disorder bulimia.

He told BBC News 24 that he suffered in misery and in silence for 10 years because of the shame of being a high-profile man with the illness.

He writes in the Sunday Times that he would gorge on food and then vomit.

Mr Prescott explains how he could "sup a whole tin of condensed milk", eat trifles "for ever" and eat through a Chinese restaurant's entire menu.

The 69-year-old told the BBC: "I never admitted to this out of the shame and embarrassment.

"I found it difficult as a man like me to admit that I suffered from bulimia - the doctors told me that it was probably due to stress.

An eating disorder can affect anyone at any age, it isn't just young girls, it's boys and men as well Susan Ringwood, Beat

"I eventually managed to control it and to stop it a few years ago."

Mr Prescott emphasised part of his motivation for the revelation was to de-stigmatise the illness and encourage others to seek help.

He said: "I want to say to the millions of people, do take advice, it can help and it can help you out of a lot of misery that you suffer in silence."

Bravery

He writes in the Sunday Times: "People normally associate it with young women - anorexic girls, models trying to keep their weight down - or women in stressful situations, like Princess Diana."

Health experts praised Mr Prescott for his confession.

Susan Ringwood, chief executive of the eating disorders charity Beat, told Radio 5 Live that bulimia was not only suffered by young women.

It's hard enough for a young girl to confess to, but for a high-profile male politician approaching 70, it's especially impressive Dr Ty Glover

She said: "We do know that an eating disorder can affect anyone at any age, it isn't just young girls, it's boys and men as well, so in that sense it wasn't a surprise.

"And neither was it a surprise that someone felt they really needed to keep this a secret, and even say they felt ashamed of themselves.

"And that feeling can stop people getting help."

Consultant psychiatrist Dr Ty Glover, an eating disorders specialist at Cheadle Royal Hospital in Cheshire, said: "It's hard enough for a young girl to confess to, but for a high-profile male politician approaching 70, it's especially impressive.

"It seriously makes me think that maybe we're completely missing a whole audience of middle-aged men who are too scared to admit they have a problem."

Dr Glover said one in 10 sufferers were male and that Mr Prescott's brave admission should encourage other men to seek help.

What I did was stuff my face with anything around, any old rubbish, burgers, chocolate, crisps, fish and chips, loads of it, till I felt sick John Prescott

Mr Prescott, who stepped down from Labour's front bench last year after ten years as deputy PM, said people would never suspect he suffered from the disorder and that some could accuse him of not being "a very successful bulimic" because his weight did not drop.

He said he began binging and vomiting during his years in the shadow cabinet in the 1980s, but the condition got worse when Labour came to power in 1997.

"So what I did was stuff my face with anything around, any old rubbish, burgers, chocolate, crisps, fish and chips, loads of it, till I felt sick - but at least I'd had the pleasure of stuffing my face and feeling really full.

"Then there would be a weird kind of pleasure in vomiting and feeling relieved."

Secret eating

He continued: "I could sup a whole tin of Carnation condensed milk, just for the taste, stupid things like that. Marks & Spencer trifles, I still love them, one of my favourites. I can eat them for ever.

Archive footage of John Prescott

"Whenever I go to Mr Chu's in Hull, my favourite Chinese restaurant in the whole world . . . I could eat my way through the entire menu."

He speaks of trying to hide his bulimia from colleagues and his wife, Pauline.

"I thought, of course, I was being clever, and no-one would ever know, but Pauline realised in the end. The signs in the toilet gave it away, and all the missing food."

Seventeen years ago Mrs Prescott persuaded her husband to get help from the House of Commons doctor and he was sent on to a consultant.

My weight, though, is still over 15 stone - as I do love my food - but I try not to snack between meals and to eat at sensible times John Prescott

"I turned up and found his waiting room full of young women. I was the only man there. I felt a right twerp. Luckily none of them shopped me to the press.

"Perhaps they thought I was on a fact-finding mission, never for one moment thinking that a man of my age and build could be suffering from bulimia nervosa, but that's what the consultant said I had."

He received treatment, but he continued to be bulimic when he became deputy prime minister in 1997.

But now he says he has not suffered from the disorder for a year and exercises in the gym for 45 minutes a day.

"My weight, though, is still over 15 stone - as I do love my food - but I try not to snack between meals and to eat at sensible times."

Mr Prescott, who also has diabetes, is now supporting the National Health Service's awareness campaign on food disorders.







Now we know.. Do not suffer in silence!

Fighting Bulimia

Look at this article:


Prescott tells of bulimia battle

John Prescott talks about his bulimia
Former deputy prime minister John Prescott has confessed to suffering from the eating disorder bulimia.
He told BBC News 24 that he suffered in misery and in silence for 10 years because of the shame of being a high-profile man with the illness.
He writes in the Sunday Times that he would gorge on food and then vomit.
Mr Prescott explains how he could "sup a whole tin of condensed milk", eat trifles "for ever" and eat through a Chinese restaurant's entire menu.
The 69-year-old told the BBC: "I never admitted to this out of the shame and embarrassment.
"I found it difficult as a man like me to admit that I suffered from bulimia - the doctors told me that it was probably due to stress.
An eating disorder can affect anyone at any age, it isn't just young girls, it's boys and men as well
Susan Ringwood, Beat
"I eventually managed to control it and to stop it a few years ago."
Mr Prescott emphasised part of his motivation for the revelation was to de-stigmatise the illness and encourage others to seek help.
He said: "I want to say to the millions of people, do take advice, it can help and it can help you out of a lot of misery that you suffer in silence."
Bravery
He writes in the Sunday Times: "People normally associate it with young women - anorexic girls, models trying to keep their weight down - or women in stressful situations, like Princess Diana."
Health experts praised Mr Prescott for his confession.
Susan Ringwood, chief executive of the eating disorders charity Beat, told Radio 5 Live that bulimia was not only suffered by young women.
It's hard enough for a young girl to confess to, but for a high-profile male politician approaching 70, it's especially impressive
Dr Ty Glover
She said: "We do know that an eating disorder can affect anyone at any age, it isn't just young girls, it's boys and men as well, so in that sense it wasn't a surprise.
"And neither was it a surprise that someone felt they really needed to keep this a secret, and even say they felt ashamed of themselves.
"And that feeling can stop people getting help."
Consultant psychiatrist Dr Ty Glover, an eating disorders specialist at Cheadle Royal Hospital in Cheshire, said: "It's hard enough for a young girl to confess to, but for a high-profile male politician approaching 70, it's especially impressive.
"It seriously makes me think that maybe we're completely missing a whole audience of middle-aged men who are too scared to admit they have a problem."
Dr Glover said one in 10 sufferers were male and that Mr Prescott's brave admission should encourage other men to seek help.
What I did was stuff my face with anything around, any old rubbish, burgers, chocolate, crisps, fish and chips, loads of it, till I felt sick
John Prescott
Mr Prescott, who stepped down from Labour's front bench last year after ten years as deputy PM, said people would never suspect he suffered from the disorder and that some could accuse him of not being "a very successful bulimic" because his weight did not drop.
He said he began binging and vomiting during his years in the shadow cabinet in the 1980s, but the condition got worse when Labour came to power in 1997.
"So what I did was stuff my face with anything around, any old rubbish, burgers, chocolate, crisps, fish and chips, loads of it, till I felt sick - but at least I'd had the pleasure of stuffing my face and feeling really full.
"Then there would be a weird kind of pleasure in vomiting and feeling relieved."
Secret eating
He continued: "I could sup a whole tin of Carnation condensed milk, just for the taste, stupid things like that. Marks & Spencer trifles, I still love them, one of my favourites. I can eat them for ever.

Archive footage of John Prescott
"Whenever I go to Mr Chu's in Hull, my favourite Chinese restaurant in the whole world . . . I could eat my way through the entire menu."
He speaks of trying to hide his bulimia from colleagues and his wife, Pauline.
"I thought, of course, I was being clever, and no-one would ever know, but Pauline realised in the end. The signs in the toilet gave it away, and all the missing food."
Seventeen years ago Mrs Prescott persuaded her husband to get help from the House of Commons doctor and he was sent on to a consultant.
My weight, though, is still over 15 stone - as I do love my food - but I try not to snack between meals and to eat at sensible times
John Prescott
"I turned up and found his waiting room full of young women. I was the only man there. I felt a right twerp. Luckily none of them shopped me to the press.
"Perhaps they thought I was on a fact-finding mission, never for one moment thinking that a man of my age and build could be suffering from bulimia nervosa, but that's what the consultant said I had."
He received treatment, but he continued to be bulimic when he became deputy prime minister in 1997.
But now he says he has not suffered from the disorder for a year and exercises in the gym for 45 minutes a day.
"My weight, though, is still over 15 stone - as I do love my food - but I try not to snack between meals and to eat at sensible times."
Mr Prescott, who also has diabetes, is now supporting the National Health Service's awareness campaign on food disorders.




Now we know.. Do not suffer in silence!

Mr Fair price

I can't believe it! I've stepped into fairprice thrice in two days.
wha... Spending lots of money on groceries... I have to cut down.
As usual, I enjoyed my driving lesson again.. And it was really a breeze.
Sometips for myself. Please be patient; do not rush. Give ways to others! Use more of the side mirrors ok! Lastly, take things easy.... A week more to go.. I will pass!

I am still thinking about last nite. About the cute Matthias and the joy I had. I told my mum that and she say that I would find it fun because it is just a one time thing.. Just to mention if I were to raise the child, she say it would be an onerous task. Ok ok.. den the old story of how I was a menace to my parents as a toddler arose again...

Then we in the night, we went Hougang Mall for dinner... I tried something new today: Abalone noodle. Not that I am a fan of abalone but would reallylike to try it out at the food court.
I guess Sunday night is the only time where I could interact with my Sis, whom I still love dearly. I really love my sis. But I think I owed her deeply. It would be almost impossible for me to get back the louise that I use to know because I have neglected her so much in the past. It is hard to fill the gap, but let time heal.

In this blog, I want to say this to someone very special to me: Thank you for the encouragement and the effort to see me through this. You brighten up my new life. Thank you. I love you for who you are to me, a special friend, a comforter and a delight in my life. I pray that the Lord will bless you bountifully!

my happiest night!

My day starts with shopping with my mum for groceries, then heading to the bank to change thumbprinting to signature verification. Then we went for lunch.

Gosh---> I must say that Char Kuay Teow taste heavenly. Wasn't that grossed out by the oiliness since there isn't any visible oil to begin with. I was savouring every mouth this time, instead of choosing the eggs and cockles only- I grabbed everything! Also I ate stewed beef and chicken noodles.. Dry one ok! That means with the oil, that I am usually very paranoid of! If that is stil not enough, what about another slice of kaya pancake? Hahaha!

Now I am not controlled by food but I control what I eat! But I wasn't too happy with my mum though. She has been quite temperamental these days. I am trying my best to keep my mood up! That is why, I decided to do meaningful stuff like Voluntary work every saturday! Yeah!!!

---->The Old Folks home that I've been visiting!
Come have a look at the volunteers' blog!

Some pics again:



Before I went to the old folks home, I got a surprise invitation by josephine. She asked me along to her family BBQ party at aloha loyang. It was Jose who first intro me to this old folks' home.

What happened atnight really marks another high point of my life. This night, I cherish my life even more and more. Ok, I shall confess: I love children! They are so cute and fun to play with! Hey I am not peadophilic but I just happen to have so much fun together with Josephine, entertaining her nephew, Mathias:






I proudly say that this is my best night ever!
I had control over my eating now. Despite the spread of food, I concentrate myself more on Mathias and talking with Jose. Seeing the child's innocence really make me want to cherish my life more! Yes! Thanks my friend for making my night! I was very delighted to see her care and concern for kids. She is like a small mum. I must say she will be a very good OT.

All right man.. It's late... I am thinking of buying Macs for my family for breakfast tml.... Yeah...

I need something call consistency

Not that I doubt my skills.. but I am doubting artificial intelligents... Are computer and machine forever accurate? Why do I keep getting different results and error messages from the NanoDrop spectrophotometer. Today is a day of surprises. In the morning, when I tried to combine two of my linearize vector batch together, I found out that the remaining tube still contain some DNA..not some.. but quite a substantial amount. Haiz.. But I waste no time. Transfer here and there with EB buffer but I tried something new... I moved the whole thermomixer into the hood to use it to evaporate and concentrate my sample. Crazy nanodrop.. make me busy for nothing..

Then Doctor Ng gave me more trust when he passed me more of his sample for me to take care... Then I did something new again. I went to investigate the power Pen Strep--> an antibiotic. So I went to thaw out a 10ml alliquote. Just when I was about to use, I saw some yellow stuff at the bottom. So I went to ask Dr Niki for advice. Guess what, I ended up fishing more work to do. She asked me to open up a new bottle and make new alliquotes. Ok. But I enjoyed it. I am like occupying my time with more meaningful stuff!

I enjoyed lunch!... Some random pics...

Take a break:

Busy week

Sorry for Missing in Action!!!

I was really too busy these days. Even Mom had to complain. I really toiled for my research work and also my tuition work.

I've spentThree Freaking Nights preparing notes on chemical and ionic equilibrium and at the same timeplaning out new experiments to try out.
I am actually very contented that I have such a golden opportunity to think creatively and design my own experimental parameters.
Why am I so busy even when my cell cultures are dead? The reason is in the question itself... REPEAT THE PROCESS!!!
But this time it is much more complicated. Intead of IFN-gamma batches, I will be dealing with a new vector anti-herceptin-2.
This woul mean that I've got 16 samples to look after,16 transfection, and my main task these days is to prepare and purify those DNA vectors that I need

Yah. Sounds simple. But Bloody Hell! It seems like DNA is like shying aways from me. Each time I do a digestion with restriction enzyme, I've got very little yield. I wonder wds wrong man?
What's more... I have to prepare media, reagents for ELISA, alliquote out Antibody standards, sampling, my cell passaging.... the list goes on. However, the highlight of this week would be the teaching of a new student attached to our department
Again, Dr ng is really nice to gie the honour to be a mentor... Furthermore, to someone older than me!haha. She is none other than Thian Thian! My first bio disciple! She is really friendly and very willing to learn. I love this kind of people!
This week also accounts for the spawning of my new lunch Kahkis. They are indeed a bunch of more approachable people since we are roughly in the same age group.
Also, just today, I joined Dr Ng, my supervisor, for lunch. Guess what? We talked about girls la! He look so studious but actually he has exquisite knowledge about relationship and courtship.
He said that uni is the best place and time to get a girlfriend, and he advised me never to get a girlfriend at the same workplace.

ok it is rather late and i need to catch up on my sleep. sweet dreams guys!

Getting busier these days...

Yes yes.. I am sorry man... Let me say that my life is very fulfilling nowadays.. Keepig myself occupied and keeping my mood up is certainly the way to go..
Let me write about Sunday first then...

Ok Morning was tuition as usual. My tutee is more attentive this time and a little more responsive.. I guess he got some admonishings from his dad. Then I got my pay for the tuition! Yeah! $250... Wait... the uncle is giving me $10 more! So nice of him.

Then I went for my driving lesson. Oh my when is my last time entering the circuit? I actually enjoyed my lesson that day and Tommy, my instructor, was cool that day. He really keepedme entertained. Ok But the lesson cost me $62.

Then I went home with an instant surprise treat from mum... She steam pau for me as there were left overs from Ching Ming.

Then I went to meet my friend, Alvin, at Singapura Plaza... Guess what. I actually want to meet him at Bugis Junction but I ended up taking a bus to bishan.. Haiz.. not paying attention ar Darren. In the end we met up at PS.
We enjoyed talking cock and planning our Taiwan Trip... Yes talking about Taiwan Dollar, we have two conflicting rates at two different money changers.. Alvin is a very nice guy and a man ful of integrity. Yes. I would feel good to go taiwan with him man!

When I returned home, I bought 4 packets of Durian. I wanted to leave one for Pa pa but guess what... Me and Ma finished all of them.

That pretty much summarizes the Sunday.

Now for the busy today. Yes.I have traced my contamination and now I know why... It's mymedia that has bacteria la... Haiz. Today got some thrashing from See Jye. Sometimes he really think that he is the boss, can screw people around. Ya da Ya da... Nevermind. I have patience ok!

Today Dr Ng spoke about the new plansfor transfection and also the teaching that I should give when the new student comes... yeah!

ok man... it's rather late... I've gotta sleep! nitez

Live this life... For others!

Yeah! Today is the most meaningful day I had.. Just look atthe pics and you will know why!

A sweet visit to the OldFolk's Home... Very soon, I will be a regular voluteer here!

Another celebration today:

Dad's Bday dinner!

how disappointing!

Hey. Do you know that all my effort for this month and last month have all gone down the drain! My cell cultures are all contaminated. Really..
Even my back up in the 6well plate has turned cloudy!!!
-Could it be my media? Sianz.

Now have to start all over again! Yeah...all my Saturday & Sundays that I spent for taking care of my cells have warrant to be fruitless. Well I can onlysay this has to do with my luck! Sigh... I have taken the necessary precaution but...

Ok enough!Haha. What is failure to me man! Now that I have this failure in mind, I will be even extra careful in future!

Well. Today I was busy with ELISA. Dr Ng ask me to redo again because my control shows discrepencies. So Today I was super busy because I stretch my dilution of standard rightdown to one pico-gram per ml. Which is almost nothing la. But it is just fun to play around and see what happens. By the I proposed this trail one! haha.. But the results doesn't seemed that convincing again- with some kinks at odd place on the absorbance curve. I've spent last night coming up with the protocol. Again- My hardwork didn't pay off!

Hopefully next week will be a better week! With transfection on Wednesday and media prep on Monday. Me being a teacher on Tuesday for an attachment student. Damn it man! I can't live without working hard!


Let's leave the unhappiness behind and move on!

Hey I am excited about tomorrow!!! Must be a good day ahead man!

I will be heading to an old folk's home tml to do some voluntary work and to gain more insights to life, as well as to spend sometime with my good friend- Josephine!
Haha. After that we will be going for my dad's b day dinner. So let's rock on!

At the end of the day, it is just a day--- It really depends on how you live your day. so don't waste it away!