Going out...

It is yet another Sunday. Yes. Sunday. Hey I didn't make it down to church. Received some thought provoking remarks from my mum... Really, sometimes I feel so ashame of myself for not being who I want to be. I told myself, tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow will be aday of change. I dunno why, but I am really concern about about my abdominals... It is like the muscles are getting less defined as fats are starting to cover it. Haiz.. I do want some fats but please, at the more appropriate places???

Nevermind, Now I will just try. See how fast I will get fat by absorbing everything I ate and not exercising a single bit. Then I will go for a blood test to affirm myself of the drop of CPK. Please Darren, stay strong. When the value is down, you can start exercising!

Don't I want to join my Marist friends for soccer. Mum was like saying that I don't have any friends one. No one is asking me out. The fact is no one knows how to handle me. wanna bring me out but can walk fast, can't cycle, can't eat much.... Bulimia is such a pain in the ass.

I was getting more upset with myself as my mum's mood got affected. Idon'tknow why but I only improve remarkably when my family is happy. I actually had a good lunch but I don't know why but i can't seem to get away those urge to elimnate some food. Only a little but still, it is the mentality that is potentially dangerous.

After receiving more scoldings, I decided not to fool around man. I sat down andread through biology, about immunology. Then my mum questioned about my friendship. This time I really wanna go out. So I called Alvin, my army colleague, and ask him whether he is free to meet. Whahe is damn on man.. He immediately said ok!

So we went to plaza Sing and ate secret recipe. I challenge myself to a piece of oreo cheese cake. Damn nice! I haven really taste and enjoy these kind of 'sinful' food for a long long time. Then we we sat there and chatted a lot on the progress and situation now in the army. Yup. He is going toORD soon and he is planning for a trip to Taiwan on July... He asked me to tag along and research for him the possible accomodation and plans.

We went to walk, eat and talk more cock. I realise that talking can be very enjoyable, something hat I failed to grasp when I was super compulsive. All I had in mind was that I need to do something productive. Now, I am more relax and I start to appreciate simple pleasures in life.

Wha it's going to be a busy week. Better sleep well tonight. Haha!
Darren, let's work hard... it is for your own good. Don't be afraid to gain weight. You don't have to exercise daily... come on. You can do it. Dr Ng said that, Prof yap said that, Unle kelvin said that...Look! I've got so many motivators around.. Darren don't disappoint yourself!


YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOMMMMMMAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!! I want you back!