The master of talking cock.

I think I've talk a great deal today... Wha.. Iam really enjoying research.. But getting busier guys.. So I won't be posting that often.. You'll have to miss me!

Why Fail

Fail? Did I fail? I did not fail myself! I only failed my driving test what! Come on Darren... Itis onl a driving test. And I think I did pretty well this time. Just need more luck next time! kay. I need some time to re-evaluate myself. I almost went into hysteria this afternoon. But everything is gona be ok! There will always be a better tomorrow! Praise the Lord!

I am ready...

ready for what

For my DRIVING TEST tomorrow!

Scary but I am going to overcome it. Let's see. If I really pass tomorrow I will have loads to celebrate. I put in alot of effort, money, and attention this time round. I really wish that the Lord will be with me tomorrow.. Amen!... No Lord is always with me!

Today is my tuition day again... Put in loads of hardwork in prepring notes for this student of mine. I really hope he knows how to reciprocate.
Then later, I went to church with Josephine. Today's sermon was awesome. Pastor Khong taught us to fear the Lord, for the fear will bring us no fear to worldly things... I had a rising urge to pray for Josephine and I did it near the end of the service. Not very good with my words but I meant well.

After that I was at Bedok area, so I chanced upon the community library and managed to salvage some good books about eating disorder. I really hope that I could read into myself well.

Yes then, after that is my driving practice. The circuit was utterly quiet. But that's good as I have most of the practice to myself and less waiting time!

Yesterday I had A fun time with a soldier:

Yeah! We are really looking forward to Taiwan! Hotel and air tickets settled!

Please!!! That is my sabbathical beforethe start of my school in NUS!

Yesterday I had some misunderstanding with my mum over food again. But we managed to recover from all the accusation and turned it into a friendly peace talk.

Let's hope the books that I've borrowed today comes in handy!

Nights! Pass Pass Pass my test!!!!

Blackholes and Revelations....

---

Schwarzschild geometry The Schwarzschild geometry describes the spacetime geometry of empty space surrounding any spherical mass. Karl Schwarzschild derived this geometry at the close of 1915, within a few weeks of Albert Einstein publishing his fundamental paper on the Theory of General Relativity. The history of this discovery and much more is wonderfully recounted in Kip Thorne's book ``Black Holes & Time Warps: Einstein's Outrageous Legacy''. Schwarzschild radius One of the remarkable predictions of Schwarzschild's geometry was that if a mass M were compressed inside a critical radius rs, nowadays called the Schwarzschild radius, then its gravity would become so strong that not even light could escape. The Schwarzschild radius rs of a mass M is given by rs = 2 G M / c2 where G is Newton's gravitational constant, and c is the speed of light. For a 30 solar mass object, like the black hole in the fictional star system here, the Schwarzschild radius is about 100 kilometers. Curiously, the Schwarzschild radius had already been derived (with the correct result, but an incorrect theory) by John Michell in 1783 (this reference is from Erk's Relativity Pages) in the context of Newtonian gravity and the corpuscular theory of light. Michel derived the critical radius by setting the gravitational escape velocity v equal to the speed of light c in the Newtonian formula v2 / 2 = G M / r for the escape velocity v from the surface of a star of mass M and radius r.

Horizon The Schwarzschild surface, the sphere at 1 Schwarzschild radius, is also called the horizon of a black hole, since an outside observer, even one just outside the Schwarzschild surface, can see nothing beyond the horizon.

Schwarzschild metric Schwarzschild's geometry is described by the metric (in units where the speed of light is one, c = 1) ds2 = - ( 1 - rs / r ) dt2 + ( 1 - rs / r )-1 dr2 + r2 do2  . The quantity ds denotes the invariant spacetime interval, an absolute measure of the distance between two events in space and time, t is a `universal' time coordinate, r is the circumferential radius, defined so that the circumference of a sphere at radius r is 2 pi r, and do is an interval of spherical solid angle.

Embedding diagram The Schwarzschild geometry is illustrated in the embedding diagram at the top of the page, which shows a 2-dimensional representation of the 3-dimensional spatial geometry at a particular instant of universal time t. One should imagine that objects are confined to move only on the 2-dimensional surface. Each circle actually represents a sphere, of circumference 2 pi r. According to the Schwarzschild metric, the proper radial distance, the actual distance measured by an observer at rest at radius r, between two spheres separated by an interval dr of circumferential radius r is (1 - rs/r)-1/2 dr, which is larger than the radial interval dr expected in a flat, Euclidean geometry. Thus the geometry is `stretched' in the radial direction, as shown in the embedding diagram. Outside the horizon, the lines in the embedding diagram are `space-like': they would be measured by some actual observer (in this case an observer at rest in the Schwarzschild geometry) as being intervals of space at some instant of the observer's proper time (an observer's proper time is the time actually measured by the observer, as experienced by the observer's brain or recorded by a watch on the observer's wrist). Inside the horizon, lines in the Schwarzschild embedding diagram change to being `time-like': they represent intervals of time measured at the position of some observer, rather than intervals of space at an instant of some observer's time. That is to say, the lines in the embedding diagram inside the horizon represent possible trajectories of infalling (though not necessarily freely falling) observers. The shape of the embedding diagram inside the horizon, as drawn at the top of the page, is somewhat arbitrary. The animated dashes do however show correctly intervals of proper time as experienced by an observer infalling along a line of constant Schwarzschild time t.

Gravitational slowing of time In general relativity, clocks at rest run slower inside a gravitational potential than outside. In the case of the Schwarzschild metric, the proper time, the actual time measured by an observer at rest at radius r, during an interval dt of universal time is (1 - rs/r)1/2 dt, which is less than the universal time interval dt. Thus a distant observer at rest will observe the clock of an observer at rest at radius r to run more slowly than the distant observer's own clock, by a factor ( 1 - rs / r )1/2 . This time dilation factor tends to zero as r approaches the Schwarzschild radius rs, which means that someone at the Schwarzschild radius will appear to freeze to a stop, as seen by anyone outside the Schwarzschild radius.

Gravitational redshift The gravitational slowing of time produces a gravitational redshift of photons. That is, an outside observer will observe photons emitted from within a gravitational potential to be redshifted to lower frequencies, or equivalently to longer wavelengths. Conversely, an observer at rest in a gravitational potential will observe photons from outside to be blueshifted to higher frequencies, shorter wavelengths. In the case of the Schwarzschild metric, a distant observer at rest will observe photons emitted by a source at rest at radius r to be redshifted so that the observed wavelength is larger by a factor ( 1 - rs / r )-1/2 than the emitted wavelength. The redshift factor tends to infinity as r approaches the Schwarzschild radius rs, which means that someone at the Schwarzschild radius will appear infinitely redshifted, as seen by anyone outside the Schwarzschild radius. That the redshift factor is the same as the time dilation factor (well, so one's the reciprocal of the other, but that's just because the redshift factor is, conventionally, a ratio of wavelengths rather than a ratio of frequencies) is no coincidence. Photons are a good clocks. When a photon is redshifted, its frequency, the rate at which it ticks, slows down. In the illustration shown, a source at rest at 1.18 Schwarzschild radii emits light rays with the same initial wavelength in 6 equally spaced directions. The light ray going out is redshifted, while the rays falling in become blueshifted, from the point of view of observers at rest in the Schwarzschild geometry. Five of the 6 rays end up falling into the black hole (the two yellow rays would fall in, but I cut them off so they wouldn't block the view).

No stationary frames inside the Schwarzschild radius According to the Schwarzschild metric, at the Schwarzschild radius rs, proper radial distance intervals become infinite, and proper time passes infinitely slowly. Inside the Schwarzschild radius, proper radial distances and proper times appear to become imaginary (that is, the square root of a negative number). Historically, it took decades before this strange behaviour was understood properly (see again Kip Thorne's book ``Black Holes and Time Warps'' for an account). The problem with the Schwarzschild metric is that it describes the geometry as measured by observers at rest. It is now realized that once inside the Schwarzschild radius, there can be no observers at rest: everything plunges inevitably to the central singularity. In effect, the very fabric of spacetime falls to the singularity, carrying everything with it. No pressure can withstand the inexorable collapse. To paraphrase Misner, Thorne & Wheeler (1973, ``Gravitation'', p. 823), that same unseen power of the world which impels everyone from age 20 to 40, and from 40 to 80, impels objects inside the horizon irresistably towards the singularity. Answer to the quiz question 8: False. The Schwarzschild metric remains valid inside the Schwarzschild radius. It is fine to perform mathematical calculations using the Schwarzschild metric. Inside the Schwarzschild radius, if you transform to frames of reference which fall inward (or outward, for a white hole!) faster than the speed of light, then the geometry becomes `normal' again.

Schwarzschild spacetime diagram This spacetime diagram illustrates the temporal geometry of the Schwarzschild metric, at the expense of suppressing information about the spatial geometry. By comparison, the embedding diagram at the top of the page illustrated the spatial geometry, while suppressing information about the temporal geometry. The horizontal axis represents radial distance, while the vertical axis represents time. The cyan vertical line is the central singularity, at zero radius, while the red vertical line is the horizon, at one Schwarzschild radius. Yellow and ochre lines are the worldlines of light rays moving radially inward and outward respectively. Each point at radius r in the spacetime diagram represents a 3-dimensional spatial sphere of circumference 2 pi r. Dark purple and blue lines are respectively lines of constant Schwarzschild time and constant circumferential radius. The Schwarzschild spacetime geometry appears ill-behaved at the horizon, the Schwarzschild radius (vertical red line). However, the pathology is an artefact of the Schwarzschild coordinate system. Spacetime itself is well-behaved at the Schwarzschild radius, as can be ascertained by computing the components of the Riemann curvature tensor, all of whose components remain finite at the Schwarzschild radius. The curious change in the character of the Schwarzschild geometry inside versus outside the horizon can be seen in the spacetime diagram. Whereas outside the horizon infalling and outgoing light rays move generally upward, in the direction of increasing Schwarzschild time, inside the horizon infalling and outgoing light rays move generally leftward, toward the singularity. General Relativity permits an arbitrary relabelling of coordinates. Some coordinate systems which behave better at the Schwarzschild radius are illustrated below.

Would you take my hands?

Today I made another confession about my condition.. This time to my Disciple... Haha. I am glad she is open with it.. Anyway.. she has been a great help to me today! Really happy thatI have an assistant because dealing with two ELISA plate is no easy task.. Especially with the standards.

Actually the results are quite ok..I should say.




Today the Cute cute Mathias called me..

"Hello Darren kor kor.I want to speak to Mas selamat Kor kor.." Haha!

Really miss him. But I guess I am also missing someone close to my heart. I never had this feeling for a long long time le.. When I was drown with bulimia, please don't talk about love to me. I don't even love life. I just wanna exercise and "kill"??? What is the use of love where I have my own desires to fulfill.
But the Jovial Darren is back! Not that I am frivolous; in fact I am damn serious with my life now. That is why I seek for someone that I love and truely loves me too.. Haha. But that is not all that important now. Let it come naturally as dictated by God. But this girl that I admire has a good heart and my family really cherish her. Yes! I would take a positive step in knowing her better!

Ok man. I am really getting better these days... Tomorrow is a killer day again.. 24 transfection (Oh My Goodness) to do. Why Dr Ng trusts me so much! haha

Ok good nite guys. I had a tired day!!!

Where's my overtime pay?

Working extra hours should confer more pay! Haha. no la.. I don't for the money----- It is for the experience! yes yes! I love my job! It's getting exciting each day. Other than job, I realise that I took up unpaid voluntary work, Part time job(tuition). Yeah my life is pretty much balanced now! Talking baout my voluntary job: Moral Angels... I feel so good taling Hokkien man! It's like a cultural revolution to me.. Ok this is a snippet on the latest Saturday:

Hi angels,

it was a lovely afternoon at moral home. It was not quite the usual crowd but we did quite all right nevertheless. When I was there at 3pm (late as usual), uncle Meng Huat was at the helm of the blackjack table instead of our regular big boss uncle Song. We need a bigger table as the gambling den is attracting more Ah Kong Ah Ma in anticipation of the IRs opening. Song and Sam (S&S) were spotted on the 2nd and 3rd floor doing their rounds to PR with the residents and also some new elderly at the home.

SK can be seen running around in search for MJ kakis for our Ah Ma waiting downstair at the MJ table. Thru his crystal ball, SK had foreseen the angels turnout for this week. And so he brought along his secret weapon: Teochew Opera VCD! It worked like a charm. Ah Kong Ah Ma were glued to the TV. Meanwhile I was beaten up down left right at the checker table by uncle John. I think he misses Poh Yan, even though he tried hard to cover up his yawn of boredom.

That’s about all folks. Thanks for reading.

.

.

.

.

The story would have ended if not for our newest additions to the angels family. Introducing Desmond and Darren (D&D)! Desmond is a soccer kaki of SK, and after a brief tour of moral home, he immediately dive into action helping with the games and stuff. Darren is a friend of Josephine Neo, and he was here last week too. He took some photos of Ah Kong Ah Ma last week, and the Ah Kong Ah Ma can be seen grinning ear to ear when he handed them the developed photos this week. Hey Darren, great work! Take more photos in the future and we can put them up on the blog too.

Here are some good news for all the fans of Uncle Lee. After taking a short break at CGH chalet, uncle Lee is back at the home with even more zest, hoping to make up for the lost time at the chess table. He may even make it for the temple outing, why not? Talking about the outing, angels coordinators Shuhua and Huixian were running around auditioning our Ah Kong Ah Ma for the outing. They were also thinking aloud wondering WHY angels have not replied to their email on their attendance for the outing. Hey angels, you know who you are…

And last but not least, despite the low turnout for the 1st sports day of 2008, we did manage to enjoy ourselves thoroughly. Uncle Song conducted a badminton clinic, and I learnt how to hold a racket properly for the 1st time of my life! Nice. Credit goes to the welfare committee and Dietitian angels for making the sports day possible.

Cheers! Have a nice week ahead!

Jin Xiong

Today I had lunch with Mr Steven again. haha! He is quite a quiet friendly guy. Ok Today I ventured on my own method to recover my DNA.. It does seem to work!

Rather anxious for tomorrow's ELISA 2J expt. Look at this:

Lots of hard work just for the preparation alone... I hope for a good result tml.. Dealing with two plates ok! Do hear lots of timer beeping!

Good nite!

Fighting Bulimia

Look at this article:

Prescott tells of bulimia battle

John Prescott talks about his bulimia

Former deputy prime minister John Prescott has confessed to suffering from the eating disorder bulimia.

He told BBC News 24 that he suffered in misery and in silence for 10 years because of the shame of being a high-profile man with the illness.

He writes in the Sunday Times that he would gorge on food and then vomit.

Mr Prescott explains how he could "sup a whole tin of condensed milk", eat trifles "for ever" and eat through a Chinese restaurant's entire menu.

The 69-year-old told the BBC: "I never admitted to this out of the shame and embarrassment.

"I found it difficult as a man like me to admit that I suffered from bulimia - the doctors told me that it was probably due to stress.

An eating disorder can affect anyone at any age, it isn't just young girls, it's boys and men as well Susan Ringwood, Beat

"I eventually managed to control it and to stop it a few years ago."

Mr Prescott emphasised part of his motivation for the revelation was to de-stigmatise the illness and encourage others to seek help.

He said: "I want to say to the millions of people, do take advice, it can help and it can help you out of a lot of misery that you suffer in silence."

Bravery

He writes in the Sunday Times: "People normally associate it with young women - anorexic girls, models trying to keep their weight down - or women in stressful situations, like Princess Diana."

Health experts praised Mr Prescott for his confession.

Susan Ringwood, chief executive of the eating disorders charity Beat, told Radio 5 Live that bulimia was not only suffered by young women.

It's hard enough for a young girl to confess to, but for a high-profile male politician approaching 70, it's especially impressive Dr Ty Glover

She said: "We do know that an eating disorder can affect anyone at any age, it isn't just young girls, it's boys and men as well, so in that sense it wasn't a surprise.

"And neither was it a surprise that someone felt they really needed to keep this a secret, and even say they felt ashamed of themselves.

"And that feeling can stop people getting help."

Consultant psychiatrist Dr Ty Glover, an eating disorders specialist at Cheadle Royal Hospital in Cheshire, said: "It's hard enough for a young girl to confess to, but for a high-profile male politician approaching 70, it's especially impressive.

"It seriously makes me think that maybe we're completely missing a whole audience of middle-aged men who are too scared to admit they have a problem."

Dr Glover said one in 10 sufferers were male and that Mr Prescott's brave admission should encourage other men to seek help.

What I did was stuff my face with anything around, any old rubbish, burgers, chocolate, crisps, fish and chips, loads of it, till I felt sick John Prescott

Mr Prescott, who stepped down from Labour's front bench last year after ten years as deputy PM, said people would never suspect he suffered from the disorder and that some could accuse him of not being "a very successful bulimic" because his weight did not drop.

He said he began binging and vomiting during his years in the shadow cabinet in the 1980s, but the condition got worse when Labour came to power in 1997.

"So what I did was stuff my face with anything around, any old rubbish, burgers, chocolate, crisps, fish and chips, loads of it, till I felt sick - but at least I'd had the pleasure of stuffing my face and feeling really full.

"Then there would be a weird kind of pleasure in vomiting and feeling relieved."

Secret eating

He continued: "I could sup a whole tin of Carnation condensed milk, just for the taste, stupid things like that. Marks & Spencer trifles, I still love them, one of my favourites. I can eat them for ever.

Archive footage of John Prescott

"Whenever I go to Mr Chu's in Hull, my favourite Chinese restaurant in the whole world . . . I could eat my way through the entire menu."

He speaks of trying to hide his bulimia from colleagues and his wife, Pauline.

"I thought, of course, I was being clever, and no-one would ever know, but Pauline realised in the end. The signs in the toilet gave it away, and all the missing food."

Seventeen years ago Mrs Prescott persuaded her husband to get help from the House of Commons doctor and he was sent on to a consultant.

My weight, though, is still over 15 stone - as I do love my food - but I try not to snack between meals and to eat at sensible times John Prescott

"I turned up and found his waiting room full of young women. I was the only man there. I felt a right twerp. Luckily none of them shopped me to the press.

"Perhaps they thought I was on a fact-finding mission, never for one moment thinking that a man of my age and build could be suffering from bulimia nervosa, but that's what the consultant said I had."

He received treatment, but he continued to be bulimic when he became deputy prime minister in 1997.

But now he says he has not suffered from the disorder for a year and exercises in the gym for 45 minutes a day.

"My weight, though, is still over 15 stone - as I do love my food - but I try not to snack between meals and to eat at sensible times."

Mr Prescott, who also has diabetes, is now supporting the National Health Service's awareness campaign on food disorders.







Now we know.. Do not suffer in silence!

Fighting Bulimia

Look at this article:


Prescott tells of bulimia battle

John Prescott talks about his bulimia
Former deputy prime minister John Prescott has confessed to suffering from the eating disorder bulimia.
He told BBC News 24 that he suffered in misery and in silence for 10 years because of the shame of being a high-profile man with the illness.
He writes in the Sunday Times that he would gorge on food and then vomit.
Mr Prescott explains how he could "sup a whole tin of condensed milk", eat trifles "for ever" and eat through a Chinese restaurant's entire menu.
The 69-year-old told the BBC: "I never admitted to this out of the shame and embarrassment.
"I found it difficult as a man like me to admit that I suffered from bulimia - the doctors told me that it was probably due to stress.
An eating disorder can affect anyone at any age, it isn't just young girls, it's boys and men as well
Susan Ringwood, Beat
"I eventually managed to control it and to stop it a few years ago."
Mr Prescott emphasised part of his motivation for the revelation was to de-stigmatise the illness and encourage others to seek help.
He said: "I want to say to the millions of people, do take advice, it can help and it can help you out of a lot of misery that you suffer in silence."
Bravery
He writes in the Sunday Times: "People normally associate it with young women - anorexic girls, models trying to keep their weight down - or women in stressful situations, like Princess Diana."
Health experts praised Mr Prescott for his confession.
Susan Ringwood, chief executive of the eating disorders charity Beat, told Radio 5 Live that bulimia was not only suffered by young women.
It's hard enough for a young girl to confess to, but for a high-profile male politician approaching 70, it's especially impressive
Dr Ty Glover
She said: "We do know that an eating disorder can affect anyone at any age, it isn't just young girls, it's boys and men as well, so in that sense it wasn't a surprise.
"And neither was it a surprise that someone felt they really needed to keep this a secret, and even say they felt ashamed of themselves.
"And that feeling can stop people getting help."
Consultant psychiatrist Dr Ty Glover, an eating disorders specialist at Cheadle Royal Hospital in Cheshire, said: "It's hard enough for a young girl to confess to, but for a high-profile male politician approaching 70, it's especially impressive.
"It seriously makes me think that maybe we're completely missing a whole audience of middle-aged men who are too scared to admit they have a problem."
Dr Glover said one in 10 sufferers were male and that Mr Prescott's brave admission should encourage other men to seek help.
What I did was stuff my face with anything around, any old rubbish, burgers, chocolate, crisps, fish and chips, loads of it, till I felt sick
John Prescott
Mr Prescott, who stepped down from Labour's front bench last year after ten years as deputy PM, said people would never suspect he suffered from the disorder and that some could accuse him of not being "a very successful bulimic" because his weight did not drop.
He said he began binging and vomiting during his years in the shadow cabinet in the 1980s, but the condition got worse when Labour came to power in 1997.
"So what I did was stuff my face with anything around, any old rubbish, burgers, chocolate, crisps, fish and chips, loads of it, till I felt sick - but at least I'd had the pleasure of stuffing my face and feeling really full.
"Then there would be a weird kind of pleasure in vomiting and feeling relieved."
Secret eating
He continued: "I could sup a whole tin of Carnation condensed milk, just for the taste, stupid things like that. Marks & Spencer trifles, I still love them, one of my favourites. I can eat them for ever.

Archive footage of John Prescott
"Whenever I go to Mr Chu's in Hull, my favourite Chinese restaurant in the whole world . . . I could eat my way through the entire menu."
He speaks of trying to hide his bulimia from colleagues and his wife, Pauline.
"I thought, of course, I was being clever, and no-one would ever know, but Pauline realised in the end. The signs in the toilet gave it away, and all the missing food."
Seventeen years ago Mrs Prescott persuaded her husband to get help from the House of Commons doctor and he was sent on to a consultant.
My weight, though, is still over 15 stone - as I do love my food - but I try not to snack between meals and to eat at sensible times
John Prescott
"I turned up and found his waiting room full of young women. I was the only man there. I felt a right twerp. Luckily none of them shopped me to the press.
"Perhaps they thought I was on a fact-finding mission, never for one moment thinking that a man of my age and build could be suffering from bulimia nervosa, but that's what the consultant said I had."
He received treatment, but he continued to be bulimic when he became deputy prime minister in 1997.
But now he says he has not suffered from the disorder for a year and exercises in the gym for 45 minutes a day.
"My weight, though, is still over 15 stone - as I do love my food - but I try not to snack between meals and to eat at sensible times."
Mr Prescott, who also has diabetes, is now supporting the National Health Service's awareness campaign on food disorders.




Now we know.. Do not suffer in silence!

Mr Fair price

I can't believe it! I've stepped into fairprice thrice in two days.
wha... Spending lots of money on groceries... I have to cut down.
As usual, I enjoyed my driving lesson again.. And it was really a breeze.
Sometips for myself. Please be patient; do not rush. Give ways to others! Use more of the side mirrors ok! Lastly, take things easy.... A week more to go.. I will pass!

I am still thinking about last nite. About the cute Matthias and the joy I had. I told my mum that and she say that I would find it fun because it is just a one time thing.. Just to mention if I were to raise the child, she say it would be an onerous task. Ok ok.. den the old story of how I was a menace to my parents as a toddler arose again...

Then we in the night, we went Hougang Mall for dinner... I tried something new today: Abalone noodle. Not that I am a fan of abalone but would reallylike to try it out at the food court.
I guess Sunday night is the only time where I could interact with my Sis, whom I still love dearly. I really love my sis. But I think I owed her deeply. It would be almost impossible for me to get back the louise that I use to know because I have neglected her so much in the past. It is hard to fill the gap, but let time heal.

In this blog, I want to say this to someone very special to me: Thank you for the encouragement and the effort to see me through this. You brighten up my new life. Thank you. I love you for who you are to me, a special friend, a comforter and a delight in my life. I pray that the Lord will bless you bountifully!

my happiest night!

My day starts with shopping with my mum for groceries, then heading to the bank to change thumbprinting to signature verification. Then we went for lunch.

Gosh---> I must say that Char Kuay Teow taste heavenly. Wasn't that grossed out by the oiliness since there isn't any visible oil to begin with. I was savouring every mouth this time, instead of choosing the eggs and cockles only- I grabbed everything! Also I ate stewed beef and chicken noodles.. Dry one ok! That means with the oil, that I am usually very paranoid of! If that is stil not enough, what about another slice of kaya pancake? Hahaha!

Now I am not controlled by food but I control what I eat! But I wasn't too happy with my mum though. She has been quite temperamental these days. I am trying my best to keep my mood up! That is why, I decided to do meaningful stuff like Voluntary work every saturday! Yeah!!!

---->The Old Folks home that I've been visiting!
Come have a look at the volunteers' blog!

Some pics again:



Before I went to the old folks home, I got a surprise invitation by josephine. She asked me along to her family BBQ party at aloha loyang. It was Jose who first intro me to this old folks' home.

What happened atnight really marks another high point of my life. This night, I cherish my life even more and more. Ok, I shall confess: I love children! They are so cute and fun to play with! Hey I am not peadophilic but I just happen to have so much fun together with Josephine, entertaining her nephew, Mathias:






I proudly say that this is my best night ever!
I had control over my eating now. Despite the spread of food, I concentrate myself more on Mathias and talking with Jose. Seeing the child's innocence really make me want to cherish my life more! Yes! Thanks my friend for making my night! I was very delighted to see her care and concern for kids. She is like a small mum. I must say she will be a very good OT.

All right man.. It's late... I am thinking of buying Macs for my family for breakfast tml.... Yeah...

I need something call consistency

Not that I doubt my skills.. but I am doubting artificial intelligents... Are computer and machine forever accurate? Why do I keep getting different results and error messages from the NanoDrop spectrophotometer. Today is a day of surprises. In the morning, when I tried to combine two of my linearize vector batch together, I found out that the remaining tube still contain some DNA..not some.. but quite a substantial amount. Haiz.. But I waste no time. Transfer here and there with EB buffer but I tried something new... I moved the whole thermomixer into the hood to use it to evaporate and concentrate my sample. Crazy nanodrop.. make me busy for nothing..

Then Doctor Ng gave me more trust when he passed me more of his sample for me to take care... Then I did something new again. I went to investigate the power Pen Strep--> an antibiotic. So I went to thaw out a 10ml alliquote. Just when I was about to use, I saw some yellow stuff at the bottom. So I went to ask Dr Niki for advice. Guess what, I ended up fishing more work to do. She asked me to open up a new bottle and make new alliquotes. Ok. But I enjoyed it. I am like occupying my time with more meaningful stuff!

I enjoyed lunch!... Some random pics...

Take a break:

Busy week

Sorry for Missing in Action!!!

I was really too busy these days. Even Mom had to complain. I really toiled for my research work and also my tuition work.

I've spentThree Freaking Nights preparing notes on chemical and ionic equilibrium and at the same timeplaning out new experiments to try out.
I am actually very contented that I have such a golden opportunity to think creatively and design my own experimental parameters.
Why am I so busy even when my cell cultures are dead? The reason is in the question itself... REPEAT THE PROCESS!!!
But this time it is much more complicated. Intead of IFN-gamma batches, I will be dealing with a new vector anti-herceptin-2.
This woul mean that I've got 16 samples to look after,16 transfection, and my main task these days is to prepare and purify those DNA vectors that I need

Yah. Sounds simple. But Bloody Hell! It seems like DNA is like shying aways from me. Each time I do a digestion with restriction enzyme, I've got very little yield. I wonder wds wrong man?
What's more... I have to prepare media, reagents for ELISA, alliquote out Antibody standards, sampling, my cell passaging.... the list goes on. However, the highlight of this week would be the teaching of a new student attached to our department
Again, Dr ng is really nice to gie the honour to be a mentor... Furthermore, to someone older than me!haha. She is none other than Thian Thian! My first bio disciple! She is really friendly and very willing to learn. I love this kind of people!
This week also accounts for the spawning of my new lunch Kahkis. They are indeed a bunch of more approachable people since we are roughly in the same age group.
Also, just today, I joined Dr Ng, my supervisor, for lunch. Guess what? We talked about girls la! He look so studious but actually he has exquisite knowledge about relationship and courtship.
He said that uni is the best place and time to get a girlfriend, and he advised me never to get a girlfriend at the same workplace.

ok it is rather late and i need to catch up on my sleep. sweet dreams guys!

Getting busier these days...

Yes yes.. I am sorry man... Let me say that my life is very fulfilling nowadays.. Keepig myself occupied and keeping my mood up is certainly the way to go..
Let me write about Sunday first then...

Ok Morning was tuition as usual. My tutee is more attentive this time and a little more responsive.. I guess he got some admonishings from his dad. Then I got my pay for the tuition! Yeah! $250... Wait... the uncle is giving me $10 more! So nice of him.

Then I went for my driving lesson. Oh my when is my last time entering the circuit? I actually enjoyed my lesson that day and Tommy, my instructor, was cool that day. He really keepedme entertained. Ok But the lesson cost me $62.

Then I went home with an instant surprise treat from mum... She steam pau for me as there were left overs from Ching Ming.

Then I went to meet my friend, Alvin, at Singapura Plaza... Guess what. I actually want to meet him at Bugis Junction but I ended up taking a bus to bishan.. Haiz.. not paying attention ar Darren. In the end we met up at PS.
We enjoyed talking cock and planning our Taiwan Trip... Yes talking about Taiwan Dollar, we have two conflicting rates at two different money changers.. Alvin is a very nice guy and a man ful of integrity. Yes. I would feel good to go taiwan with him man!

When I returned home, I bought 4 packets of Durian. I wanted to leave one for Pa pa but guess what... Me and Ma finished all of them.

That pretty much summarizes the Sunday.

Now for the busy today. Yes.I have traced my contamination and now I know why... It's mymedia that has bacteria la... Haiz. Today got some thrashing from See Jye. Sometimes he really think that he is the boss, can screw people around. Ya da Ya da... Nevermind. I have patience ok!

Today Dr Ng spoke about the new plansfor transfection and also the teaching that I should give when the new student comes... yeah!

ok man... it's rather late... I've gotta sleep! nitez

Live this life... For others!

Yeah! Today is the most meaningful day I had.. Just look atthe pics and you will know why!

A sweet visit to the OldFolk's Home... Very soon, I will be a regular voluteer here!

Another celebration today:

Dad's Bday dinner!

how disappointing!

Hey. Do you know that all my effort for this month and last month have all gone down the drain! My cell cultures are all contaminated. Really..
Even my back up in the 6well plate has turned cloudy!!!
-Could it be my media? Sianz.

Now have to start all over again! Yeah...all my Saturday & Sundays that I spent for taking care of my cells have warrant to be fruitless. Well I can onlysay this has to do with my luck! Sigh... I have taken the necessary precaution but...

Ok enough!Haha. What is failure to me man! Now that I have this failure in mind, I will be even extra careful in future!

Well. Today I was busy with ELISA. Dr Ng ask me to redo again because my control shows discrepencies. So Today I was super busy because I stretch my dilution of standard rightdown to one pico-gram per ml. Which is almost nothing la. But it is just fun to play around and see what happens. By the I proposed this trail one! haha.. But the results doesn't seemed that convincing again- with some kinks at odd place on the absorbance curve. I've spent last night coming up with the protocol. Again- My hardwork didn't pay off!

Hopefully next week will be a better week! With transfection on Wednesday and media prep on Monday. Me being a teacher on Tuesday for an attachment student. Damn it man! I can't live without working hard!


Let's leave the unhappiness behind and move on!

Hey I am excited about tomorrow!!! Must be a good day ahead man!

I will be heading to an old folk's home tml to do some voluntary work and to gain more insights to life, as well as to spend sometime with my good friend- Josephine!
Haha. After that we will be going for my dad's b day dinner. So let's rock on!

At the end of the day, it is just a day--- It really depends on how you live your day. so don't waste it away!

A great great day with my Colleague!

Hey I was very inspired to enjoy my life to the fullest! Thanks to my colleague! I really learnt a lot today. She said to me:"I don't eat to live; I live to eat".

I can't believe myself. For the first time, I was actually enjoying food! I found the meal that I had with her was in the right proportion, having a good mix of "unhealthy food" and healthy food... It was the first time that I ate the fats of the chicken and fried cheese, without any second thought. I feel "natural" as in I think it is part of the meal. I also went about discussing the aesthetic aspect of the food and where to get good food and things like that!

She gives me the distinction between a glutton and foodie. Gobbling up food to satisfy hunger is different from tasting the richness and variety of good food!

Haha.. not going to say too much.. I had a busy work day today.. But not very good results.. Tough experimet though.. ok I end here with Food Diary!

Breakfast: Salmon bread with egg
snack:
Lunch:
Snack:
Dinner: Minty Pumpkin soup + Fried cheese with garlc bread + Chicken&mushroom walnut bread+ a slice of hot sauce chicken chop+ Dark Devotion (Choc brownie & hot choco lava with vanila ice cream and caramalised sugar ---> all in TCC cafe!
Supper: Just choco milk

I feel great. I feel lucky. No, God blessed me!

Yesterday, I have arranged with Josephine to do some voluntary work at an Old Folk's home. I am really glad that we bot have the same idea! I can't wait for this Saturday man!

Today, is another milestone for my pre-career research life. I finally succeeded in my ELISA experiment to yield a nice standard curve! Wow.. Even Dr Ng praised me! I was damn happy ma! Harder than striking 4D!(exaggerating). Good, if I manage to maintain such consistency, my reslts can be used for his research papers and to help to Bio community to come up with a reliable and cost effective ELISA kit. Antibodies are expensive, needless to say, those ready made kits out there.. US$800 dollars each and not really that reliable.

Lovely! I am quite proud of myself today! I was able to command more trust from Doctor NG as he handed me more flask to take care and ask me to carry out more transfection!

I am really happy. Positive mood is what I seek to have each day. With that, I will definitely recover faster. Today, I had a good chat with my colleagues too! John and Cherie were like joking at each other's boobs. Cherie even asked me if want to drink milk... Damn x-rated man. Haha! Fun in the Lab!!!

I should have taken a photo of my ELISA plate... Damn nice gradient of colour intensity!

ELISA 2F- 08/04/2008

1st Well	2nd Well
0.4927	0.4621
0.5562	0.579
1.8878	2.0177
3.2924	3.554
3.9857	4
4	4
Negative Control
0.0738	0.0582

ok Food time:

Breakfast:Salmon bread
Snack:Muesli
lunch:Lor mee
Snack:Milo
Dinner:beef soup with rice + spinach+ broccoli
supper:soymilk with oats

Yeah! My Handphone is repaired

Happy!!! I hope my phone is not going to give me more troubles! Today's tuition was quite delightful. I received praises from my tutee's mother saying that Kathy has actually improved! Well although one test doesn't prove that point but at least it is a good initial step! I must say that Kathy's hard toiled effort has much to be accounted for. As a tuition teacher, my only wish is to see my students get good results but at the same time, enjoy learning that subject. I tried to teach my students technique instead of knowledge because with soft skills and the ability to analyze, one can tackle a myraid of problems.

Today I speak of being busy. Then I thought of the phrase- Do not let your mind idle. Yes, my uncle say that to me. It is something not about productivity; it is about keeping your mind rooted to being righteous. Tough but an essential task.

Right now, I am given more responsibility. Dr Ng really trusts me so much. I really respect him too. He is a flexible and righteous supervisor!

Ok guys here's my food diary!

Breakfast: Oats
Snack: peanut butter bread
Lunch:Fish Ban Mee with meat dumplings
Snack: MILO
Dinner: Rice+black pepper pork+cabbage+tofu+carrot soup
Supper: Muesli

Today's busy man!

Yes sir.. 5 flask and still counting.. Sorry six in total.. Today another sample just get promoted again.. This means that every Monday and Thursday would be damn busy for me la! got 6 flask to passage at one go.. I just had a mighty lunch with a male colleague(for the first time). His name is steven! Ya I used to work with him at level 4.. Kinda cool guy but seldom talk. Today he approach me suddenly and asked me whether I wanna go for lunch.. Yeah! Of course la.. Buddy buddy me! At least he better than SEE JYE man!

Ok gota have a look at my batch two sample and prepare for ELISA tomorrow. Like I said. I am BUSY!

New insights...

Morning

I had an early breakfast and had a good night's sleep! Before my tuition lesson, I chance upon an ugly article, reporting the case of Susilo and Lee Jia Wei. I knew it would be an unhappy marriage right from the start. Love is not money ok!

Tuition

Today's lesson was slightly different. I concentrated more on techniques of solving questions and on practice problems. Then, I was actually quite frustrated at one point while teaching because he doesn't seem to put in any effort into reading up his note and memorizing the key points. What I taught him, doesn't seem to internalize. Kind of sad if you see that what you have put in so much patience and care is rejected by someone. What teachers want at the end of te day is to see their students do well. I am quite disappointed in him and then I spent about 15 mins talking to him after the tuition. After a man to man talk with him, I realized that he was more or less lapsing into my condition... I asked him whether he feels guilty when he did not exercise. He nodded.I realy empathize how he feels when I was at his stage. Of course, I am worse and my compulsions were so great that I even did crunches in ICU. So I knew what I should do and I did what I had to do... To be a friend and no longer a "teacher", to tell him about being aware of the addiction of exercise and knowing what's the LIMIT. I told him that there are better things in life that we can spend our time on. After the session, he seemedhappierand closer to me. There was no tension between us. I really hope he can register what I said: Please focus on your studies, not sports! Haha.. butI know how hard it is to kill the compulsion. Come to think of it, I have let down my parents too. They have showered care and concern for me but I have rejected them. After turning over with this new life, I really cherish this family andI don't want their efforts to go down to the drain..(p.s. To Justine: This is exactly what you told me. Think about what my parents have done for me)

Hey! I tried Ba Chang (Chinese Glutinous Rice Dumplings) today! Wha for a very very long time... This item has not entered my mouth. Ok... I was kinda daunted when I touched the leaves covering the dumpling- They were oily and greasy and yucky.... Hmmm ED thoughts? But I went to wash the dumpling in water... Thinking it will wash away some oil (silly me) and then I stop short of these little action and tell myself to just enjoy the food. So I melt some cheese on top and place some sauce beside it. Wow. actually it is damn nice la! However, what is still difficult for me is the chunks of fats that really irks me. I sort of pas them to my daddy, who gobbled them up. Haiz.. When can I overcome this truama or is it ok to remove skins and fats? Not that I feel fat after eating them; It is just that I hate the texture of the fats and just feel wierd if I ever bite into one. It is just like biting into a piece of ginger. (I know, bad analogy)

Ok guys.. I am off to do some maths.. Bye bye!

Brave new front!

Hey hey... Aside from the magnificient work today, I went out with Cherie, my colleague! I was brave enough to divulge my condition to her. Nowadays, I feel this new boldness in me, to face this world with my condition, my sickness. Hey who wants to be sick man? No one ok. So I am not ashame to tell others my ordeal and that my life is so much better now- with a brighter day ahead!

I found out that we both share the same ideal- Life is short and we should cherish it and be nice to ourselves. She even confessed to me that she also had instances of being suicidal. Ifind that actually, I find alot of motivation and aspiration from her too. Apart from being friendly, I like the way she portrays her confidence. She mentioned to me that her parents keep complaining that she is too fat. Well she is a happy go lucky girl where size does not matter. I agree. Body image is important but body size is secondary. Inner beauty, your character says it all.

Cherie will be someone who will bring me luck and motivation in my company.. She is really like a big sis to me!

Our dinner was crazily long! Good way to test my control, my ability to sit still. We spend our time talking about Japan, proposing future trips, talking about her family and her attitude towards gays... Wow... wide range of topics. for a stretch of 2 hours, we spend our time in coffee bean and coffee club.

It was kind of like a rejuvination of my soul. ok Recharged, I head back to office for some cell work. Oh my... I really love my CHO cells... My IDPA sample got promoted... With 91.0% viability la! so high! must be damn happy la!

Today is excetionally quiet. But I did enjoy the serenity! Haha.. now back home reading some HTML. See ya!

Congratulations to my SISTER!

Presenting to you.... Louise Neo Pei Jin

Guys, I have only one sis and I really love her. Sad to say, I've really neglected her and my condition have let my parents paying more attention to me as compared to my sis. I hope Mei Mei you'll understand this. Kor Kor is becoming a better person ok! No matter what, I really love you and I want you well! Never follow my footsteps.

Ok people, I have something to announce: I am going to watch a movie tomorrow! Hey! That is another freaking challenge and then I am going to eat dinner after that, which is followed by a trip back to my lab to see my cells.... Or rather to give them their lives! Oh yes... and I am not ashame to say that I will be catching myfirst R21 show! I am above 21 ok! I am an adult!

Hmm... Before I sleep I want to think intellectually again. Today I want to touch on graviton the theoratical particle/force mediator responsible for Gravity.

Lets review...

1. Electrcity and magnetism--> same thing--> Electromagnetic force

Force mediator: Photon

Charge: neutral

Mass: zero inertial mass

Range: intermediate

2. Strong force

Force mediator: Gluon

Charge: Colour charge

Mass: Zero???

Range: very short. Inverse power 6

3. Weak force

Force mediator: Z, W Boson
Charge: Neutral, +, -
Mass: Few to high electron mass

Range: short

So far, we have only "seen" photons and Bosons. Gluon cannot be easily isolated because simplyit is too highly unstable. Hypothesis says the release of strong force( like atomic bomb) will result in an almost immediate disintegration into weak force which results in particle changes, responsible for beta decays...

Now let's focus on Graviton. In theory, these force mediators could be quantified as particles, due to their interaction with matters while having, in principal, wave like properties. That is why people like to represent strong/weak force interaction as curly waves in a feynman diagram like this:

Then Graviton could in thoery have wave-like properties. Please bear in mind that when we discuss about force mediators, we are actually delving into the realms of quantum theory. In fact, if we look at the bigger picture, quantum theory has no significance. The irony is that, gravity has negligible effect in the microscopic scale, needless to say, in the quantum realm. So how are we going to quantize gravity?

It is a question that is baffling many physicists. It is einstein's dream to see his General relativity have its place in the quantum reality... Some question the analogy which motivates the introduction of the graviton. Unlike the other forces, gravitation plays a special role in general relativity in defining the spacetime in which events take place. Because it does not depend on a particular spacetime background, general relativity is said to be background independent. In contrast, the Standard Model is not background independent. In other words, general relativity and the standard model are incompatible. A theory of quantum gravity is needed in order to reconcile these differences. Whether this theory should itself be background independent, or whether the background independence of general relativity arises as an emergent property is an open question. The answer to this question will determine whether gravity plays a "special role" in this underlying theory similar to its role in general relativity.

So people aretrying very hard to reconcile the two giants.. Relativity & Quantum.... Now you have the superstring theory. Why? Because with the string concept and an approach with higher dimensions, it could be possible to find the missing link.

black holes and revelation

Imagine a black hole right here on earth.... What will happen?

Chaos la! The whole earth would be sucked into itself. Actually, this was what was being postulated by some scientists all over the world admist the building of World's largest particle collider at CERN.

Personally. I think it is just too much of a fascination. Unless we are able to create a massive particle that has very small volume. Then density would be so high that a black hole could be formed. I am quite certain why some scientist would be disapproving of investing so much on the supercollider. Firstly, This kind of science would not be very beneficiary to mankind. What is the benefit of discovering a new particle or working out the mechanism of big bang? Secondly,the discovery of more particle would spell more trouble to the already chaotic particle physics. I was just wondering how nice it would be if people just forsake pragmatism for a moment..

Well I just wan to add something about my mum here. Was actually quite happy to see her smiling so brightly this morning! It is such a rare sight. Mum has always been a very caring and meticulous person. She takes a lot of pride in what she do and what she believes in. I really love my mum just that she can be caustic at times and her moods swings in a chaotic fashion. Ultimately, I must say she is still my role model- a model for confidence and practicality.

Well I am just looking forward for tonight's program.. which is to support my sis in her prize giving ceremony! Can't wait!

Always All Ways (Apologies, Glances And Messed Up Chances)

This song is dedicated to Seh Zhi Wei:

I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry,

But it always comes out wrong,

I think a part of you still loves me,

Even though we're moving on.

Always, all ways I wanted us to be,

Always, all ways you and me,

And I wait here on my own,

And I wait for you to see,

All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me,

Always all ways...

And I'm sorry for what happened,

But I want you there to see,

That I'm changing all my actions,

I don't wanna set you free.

Always, all ways I want to see you through

Always, all ways me and you

And I wait here on my own,

And I wait for you to see,

All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me.

'Cause I'm waiting for you,

Yeah, I'm waiting for you,

Give me answers, get me through,I will wait...

Always, all ways I wanted us to be,

Always, all ways you and me,

And I wait here on my own,

And I wait for you to see,

All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me.

P.SI don't want to lose a friend like you. I'm Sorry. I know It takes time but I will wait....

This letter written by my senior, Paul, in cornell really touched my heart. Here it is:

Hey Darren,

Dunno if you remember me but I think we've talked a couple of times. I wanted to say thanks for your email - it was so encouraging to read about how you've been fighting and overcoming in your struggle, and I imagine it must have taken a lot of courage to write, especially to so many people.

So I'm just writing to send some encouragement back to you, as a brother in Jesus Christ. Press on to know him more! I'm thankful that he's allowed you to see that U-Turn point and that he's given you joy in turning around. Sounds like your particular struggle is pretty rare (most people seem to be struggling to exercise more, not less, haha), but then again, we are really all broken people... just broken in a million different ways. We'll struggle with porn addictions or lust or depression or a host of other things, but just keep it to ourselves. So I admire your courage in bringing your struggle out into the light by letting people know about it.

Also, I think when God takes us through the depths, the really low points - like what you have been going through in your struggle with exercise and eating - that's when we learn to see him more clearly, and trust him more, and grow deeper in him. A blessing in disguise, as you said. So really take hold of it... get as much blessing out of it as you can =)

Please let me know if there's anything i can pray for you too.

Paul Liew

Ok. Now for some HTML practice...

so good nite guys!

tuition cancelled again...

Wha my this tuition kid keep cancelling tuition ar... My time wasted you know! But nevermind man! There will always be plan B! I am just to dependent on things to occupy my mind, so as to focus my thoughts to something more productive. In essence, I am still that kind of perfectionist person. I can't live without doing anything which I deem useful, if not I will be wasting precious time and effort!

Well, at least I have an ELISA experiment to keep me company and A HTML reference book to keep me facinated. Yup, since tonight's tuition is cancelled, I was hoping mum and dad would bring us to somewhere to have a good dinner.

This morning's breakfast is the same powerhouse beef soup! Wha.. It tide all over to 1030am. Quite filling. Still got around 20 minutes before my next step.. better go and dilute my reagents... Bye! take care people!

On the highway of recovery...

Woke up late today. 30 mins later! HAHA.. why? Today got blood test ma.
Excited. Yes. But more of anxiety because I will never know how my blood test result will fare.
How would I rate myself? Well I would say definitely it is a great improvement. To sit infront of my laptop to type all these things is definitely a solid evidence. Well I must really thank the team of doctors who really cared for my well being. I know that in their hearts, they really want us to get well and seeing us turning from "radical" to a rationale human being is what gives them the greatest gratification over their jobs. Ms Boon said something which really struck upon me as a very useful way to overcome this "sickness"-Bulimia. She said that the only way to overcome this problem is to come clean with yourself and be open about everything. She commented that the move that I made to email about my present condition to the Singaporean students in Cornell was a bold and crucial step towards healing.
One thing that I learnt today is that eating disorder is a very selfish "person". The evil Darren used to be rude, self centred, exercise-centric, food-minded; everything about myself and no considerations for others. How bad this was! I keep emphasising how scary I was last time. Come to think of it, I am actually quite scared of my past. At that time, I thought I was an elite; Now, I think that was more like a monster.

Now that I can see myself gaining more meat and with my liver/kidney functions back to status quo, I am more and more like a normal person. It may seem strange to talk about normalcy for a human being but that is what I exactly strife for, to seek balance in life and as what Prof Yap said, learning how to manage your life. Darren. You are 21 years old already. Please have your wings (or rather limbs) back. I really want to see myself as an independent, yet sociable Darren!

Frankly speaking, there are few things which really perk up my life right now and helped me to channel my focus to productivity instead of ED thoughts. ED thoughts are provocative, seductive and deleterous.
The Number one is Family Bonding:
-The love and care of my parents toward me
-Motivation and support
-I want my sis to see me as a source of inspiration
-Positive yet frank criticism

The Number two is Work:
-Work at BTI gives me a chance to get innoculated with the "working society" vaccine, ie. it trained me to intergrate with the workforce of Singapore and how to interact with others.
-It fuels my passion for creativity and intellectual expansion
-It gives me a tremendous amount of responsibilty and sense of belonging- It made me felt that I am actually someone useful and that I can contribute!
-It brings me new friends and perpective to life
-Part time work as a tuition teacher is also very very gratifying!- I love to seemy students excel under my guidance, which gives me a lot of satisfaction
-It also trains me to sit still, talk and nothing else... no Exercise ok!
-It give my brain a wake up call to those knowledge that I have long placed aside

The Number three is Friends:
-My Marist friends, TJC friends and people who really care for me and want the old Darren back!
-My friends back there in Cornell, who are willing to accept my apology and still regard me as a good friend. I have a morale responsibility to recover and I must mean what I say.
-Josephine. Why This special friend of mine? She is a occupational Therapist ok! Her Words to me really meant a lot for my recovery and messages that she sent to me were really motivating! can see that she has an innocent heart, one that really wants to see me through this condition.

The Number four is God:
-O'er whom shalt be against thee?

Yeah man! Manage to get back to work and achieve what I set out as my task for the day.
My IDP sample wentinto a flask le! Yeah.. Please.. No contamination please!!!

Ok. Tomorrow is the showdown for ELISA man. Must do well!

Very soon there will be a chart here about thoughts from ED and thoughts from Yoman. Let's see the battle.

for now: FOOD DIARY!

Breakfast (Today's Special): Eggs+Salmon+bread+oats
Snack: an apple from life centre
Lunch: 1/2 a QQ rice ball+ sirlion steak+ small serving of spaghetti+ tomato soup
Snack: 1 slice of peanut pancake
Dinner: Mince meat with yong tau fu+ Onion/hotdog omelette+ Broccoli/cabbage
Supper: Muesli with a pear!

Reinforcements have arrived.

Splendid. My Enzyme avidin-HRP has arrived!

Yeah. More arsenal for ELISA trail. Today's Elisa is a hidden success. At least I've isolated the problem and I've got the actual conditions for saturation and now it is just left with a few tweaking of conditions here and there to get a good range of absorbance value for my IFN standard curve.

I had A stupid april fool's joke from See Jye. He bluff me by tricking meinto believing that my samples are contaminated. Wha lau! Scare the hell out of me la.. I work so hard ok!

Then something funny happened to my colleague today- You can say that it is an April Fool's scare: My colleague, Swan Li, was doing lab safety duty this afternoon. I was at level 3 lab and she popped by to check the overhead emergency shower. All of a sudden, the system was oversensitive (I think) and it started to gave her a cold shower. She was like screaming for help la! So cute!

ok... At least helped to mop the floor not just laugh.

I saw myself staring infront of many many excel sheets and decided to take a picture to ease my stress. Yeah! To Peggy--> this is how I look now! A bit more meaty right?

OK man. Tml myblood test. Wish me all the best!

Take care people!

Oh no to plan B

Hey.. Dr Ng just advised me not to go through harvesting the "leftover" because it is really fruitless. The number of cells that I salvage would be to little for continuation.

Anyway, this morning, I started out damn early. Thank goodness there is another hood for SayKong group, if not I really have to battle it out with See Jye.
Guess what? Alvin Fu called me this morning to tell me the dates for Taiwan trip. Looks good man. I am really keen on going Taiwan with him. $1000 here you go.

Time is not on my side, a while more, I will be down in my lab a few minutes time! ELISA is really painful.. Ask those who did it, it is one of the longest assays.
Ok.. Hopefully today's result will be the best. If not.... I have wasted so much antibodies le...

Ok. see you guys later.